that imaginal realm and intermediary realm has broken into our
interconnected environment –
as well as visitations and inspirations coming from the unseen realms
as so many things in the contemporary world become divided
these intermediaries that can be seen as ancestor spirits, as animal spirits
as nature spirits
were what filled in the space between the subjective and objective
the living realm of intermediary spirits what the greeks called daimons
is what gave the world it’s natural coherence and continuity
losing that imaginal realm- that intermediary realm has broken our sense of living in a coherent cosmos- a continuously interconnected environment that involves great nature as well as human culture as well as visitations and inspirations coming from the unseen realms
we need to bring the realms of imagination and inspiration back into our daily lives
one of the advantages of feeling so lost in the modern world is that this timelss other world may more readily find us-
i find myself continually talking about soul because soul is the element most missing from the world
soul is the connecting agent- the glue that holds the worlds together- and the realm of the soul includes the intermediaries, naturally
they used to be called the subtle population of the anima munda
they are the muses that inspire the arts
they are the shapeshifters that keep appearing in the world
michael meade LIVING MYTH podcast– required listening to attend jess’s WORLD RENEWAL gathering đŸ™‚
someone who played a pivotal role in my becoming has passed. a speculator of the otherworlds, a devotee to the invisible- someone who opened portals yet walked the quiet path of a grounded earth artist. jessica wasn’t a normal human – (in my eyes) she sparkled with actual fairy dust- sometimes , when the light was right, you could see a glimpse of her gossamer wings.
she was mythos, alive. she wove the same cloth of the fates- she knew, i think from a young age- that she didn’t quite feel like she belonged in this realm- her mother tasked with raising this seeking fairychild,- jessica ventured out to create her own world where she acted for justice and felt alive and connected- with the earth- the seasons, her comrades.
jessica recognized herself in the magical realm beyond the pale- she learned to respect her sensitivity and she flourished. she was a fount of indigo and madder and sunshine,-
i felt small around her- not because she berated me- but because she was a giant in my eyes. i looked up to her the way one look up to a redwood. she was only two years my senior, but was light years beyond my understanding and experience.
jessica was the witchiest witch- a true magic maker- a seer of the invisible.
i was lucky enough to be her little cousin.
(and i invite you to scroll to the end of this post to find Jessica’s website to learn more about her, if you are not interested in reading a very heartfelt and personal message.)
she texted me mid-march: giving me dates for a social project- “world renewal… goof work…” to held near her home of troy new york-
YES- i told her i was coming. that was my springtime equinox new moon intention. to go see jessica in ny and enter her world. she texted me a few weeks later with a “rough life update-” she had been diagnosed with stage 4 rare aggressive breast cancer. and would be in austin meeting with her oncology team. i asked her if she was scared. and she yes “of course i’m fuckin scared- but also, not scared.” she texted me photos of her mother peace tarot spreads- aching and crystal clear- “essence wound- ” i’d text her.
“fuckin’ essence would” she responded.
she stopped texting me after she started chemo, weeks later, mid-april. i sent her photos of bleeding hearts.
on may 31- i pulled the death card- and a small fledgling had flown into my house- chirping for it’s freedom. it landed above my altar, where i have placed your everyday cloth- (7 years now on my altar.- how does time fly this way?) a life made up of loving detail-
i gently grabbed the bird- it chirped in alarm- and i held it tenderly- it’s little face looking up at me and sprig- we said hello kindly and quietly and let released it out to the sky. an hour later her sweetheart texted me, letting me know she had passed.
jess came in a sunshine hug and wrapped herself around my shoulders and then she was gone-
i had written her this the day before, hoping my mom, who was with her, could read it to her.
you did it, jess-
you found god.
beyond recollection- contemplation- and communion- is union.
you were aligned with all of the cosmos- with every breath –
every shuttle toss-
every time you read a story to willa-
or ached in your body-
you must’ve always known-
deep in your cells-
that your life was a massive meteor
of transformation.
hitting the oceans of life
and rippling through the world-
thorough and dramatic waves of change
coming through all of us-
your voice so clear
the call so true
we all looked up- to learn.
we, burned by the fire of your forever phoenix spirit,
how unclouded your vision has been-
you have lived a 100 lives
in this 1.
you learned – or remembered- with
practice and pure devotion
how to weave the mundane with
the divine-
so your whole existence
was a tapestry of depth.
a cohesive, wondrous cloth
of blood and rain and heart break-
and presence and attention and earth.
you never got to see my place, jess,
and i know you’ve seen countless beautiful
places-
but it’s a magical time of year here- still green and
breezy with the fresh tail end of mountain thunderstorms in the sky. butterflies are everywhere- flowers are everywhere.
and you are departing and that thought cannot be true for it fills
my body with a panic that cannot be described.
i was ready to come see you. i was packed. breast pump in hand-
but i’m here, at home- thinking about you.
clawing through boxes and journals in my underwear
to find
your handwriting- to hear your voice in your letters –
precious gems and pearls i keep safe.
you should hear your words, baby girl, for they are magic spells-
here’s a reminder from you:
“i am done with being a socialized “human”- i want to remember the languages that i’ve forgotten so i can live outside and keep my words quiet, sacred, and magical. and i am too scared to leave, just yet… i’ve been taught how to be human, and i’m not convinced that i’m strong enough to live another way forever (of course it’s a joyous occasion for hours or days or weeks but decades…? to give up comfort as i know it? warm places? comforters? cafes with hot chocolate? blenders? CHOCOLATE IN GENERAL?!? time travel? (in cars and airplanes, i mean)… my mom and dad? yep- i’m definitely not ready. ) so how do we reconcile what we want when there are blaring conflicts between the wants?
i want a teacher… to hold my hand and to teach me how to love, just the way i want to love. i want a Teacher that i can touch and look at, not just the teacher that lives in our hearts….i pray for one all the time… and i travel from place to place meeting the Teachers in all that i pass…. but for some reason, i just keep looking…”
september 2007
nobody is ready to be without you,
but i think you’re ready.
i’m at home, jess, with my baby.
tending my to my life : the land and my children –with the same presence and
care to which you’ve tended yours.
i can remember vividly every time we spent together-
you always widened my consciousness and my life
just by being you.
you were the oracle- i asked you a thousand questions about the nature of life –
i have a million more questions for you.
rainbow warrior- star child- new world builder-
anarchist saint of the wool-
ascending master.
finder
of lost sheep, shepherdess jess
I Knew We Would Be Friends
-by Hafiz.“As soon as you opened your mouth
And I heard your soft
Sounds,I knew we would be
Friends.The first time, dear pilgrim, I heard
You laugh,I knew it would not take me long
To turn you back into
God.”
we went to austin for her memorial- i spent an afternoon playing with her young daughter- words cannot describe meeting a child this way. i spent an afternoon at barton springs with a wide collection of her friends- we jumped into the cold water and howled. we played: “because of jess”- and shared from our heart;
because of jessica i love joanna newsom
because of jessica i realize i’m not as stuck as i think i am- because of jessica i studied herbalism. because of jessica i see life as an experiment, and an experience. because of jessica i know how to live fully embodied.
wondrously- you can read much of her required reading for community and anarchist pedagogy here
https://alittleweather.com/Philosophy-Process check out her process here— <3 a lovely documentary capturing her essence.
photo by mike belleme
https://alittleweather.com/ here is her website- it is a living treasure chest- explore the jewels of her work — and the magic with which she lived her life- as an artist- a mother- a community builder- and myth weaver-
i have faith that her work will continue- the new world re-imagining. her family is working on opening a school in her honor.
it’ll be a world changing school. here is a gofundme in honor of her work- click the link to see how beloved she and her light are on this earth.
can’t believe it, jess. i still don’t understand. i love you. — dolly
(all weaving photos and collages above by jessica)