journaling utopia

(from my journal, by the river 2019) spirit weavers is the kind of place that makes you think that anything is possible– it’s proof that magic is real-

soaking in the dream/ 2019- my second year at spirit weavers gathering

anything is possible: live with joy and passion from your heart-

i’m so much stronger than last year-healed and whole: i’m a believer.

…the words fill my mind, in all caps:




capitalism isn’t working. infinite growth consumption isn’t working.


i nap – my bare skin against the river pebbles. i rouse only to eat or drink or dip myself in the river-

i find myself drawn to pregnant women and babies- (that’s happening!) 🙂

photo by leslie satterfield

women murmur near me- the river is singing- goddesses have large floppy breasts and puckered bellies- dark caverns of pubic hair below their bellies. they come out of the cold water- white brown fat skinny — it’s beautiful.

this is perfection. we acknowledge that we are sharing the Utopian reality. spirit weavers is a global village of healing and unity. what a reality- what a dream.

sigh, is it 3? the crickets are singing. now, my question is: am i off to a natural dying class- sacred dancing, or basket weaving? —end of journal entry.

spirit weavers is a magical place- it’s where womxn come to gather. they feel safe. they dance they sing they heal they learn they grow they connect they transform. spirit weavers is the first place i felt like my squishy pale flat body was in fact, very beautiful- this is what happens when womxn feel safe enough to bare their own skin to the sun- the uniqueness of our beings accentuated and celebrated in whole acceptance.

spirit weavers is an accessible sustainable gathering. this is the new world.

that alone is enough reason to go to spirit weavers: to get free.

i’m in the yellow and this was the year we flooded the gathering field with a surprise choreographed dance celebration 🙂 the stuff dreams are made of –

i went to spirit weavers alone, nervous in 2018- a dream of mine for years to attend- a longing in my soul that would not quiet,

the journal from that experience:

on the other side of your fear is growth-

and real magic.

my very first class!! i was elated- it felt transcendent

cross that bridge.

 i cannot help others heal if i am not my authentic self.

spirit weavers is truly a magic place where the unseen is seen, and the hidden is no longer hidden. it is a magic realm of shadow, healing, and building a new world together with our visions.

 led by my own dreams, i held space here for the healing power of the mushroom. i think of the kindreds i connected with regularly. sw transformed me. building and learning a new/old way.

keep your eyes open, stay curious to what you’re apart of;;; a connection to the whole is what heals us.

sw was transformational for me.

it was like learning hogwarts was real- and your magical family was always waiting for you. i’ve never felt so seen. thank you for embracing me while i traveled through my self doubts to teach.  MAGIC IS REAL-

the gathering reconvened ONLINE during 2020 and 2021- i taught my class EARTH CONSCIOUSNESS MUSHROOM MEDICINE online and we all agreed that we could not wait to gather on the holy land again.

summer of 21′ the land invited us for an informal gathering- covid restrictions were still in place- i returned to cedar bloom and shared that adventure in this post

i returned in 2022 with a 2 month old baby in my arms- it had always been my dream to attend SW as a mother to a tiny cub- the rains were torrential that week and i wondered at times if i wasn’t better off at home – i was tired and freshly post-partum, and even then SW was the perfect place to be. it’s such a wonderful place to be a mother.

i nursed my daughter by the banks of the illinois river and i saw my soul family. was it not the mushroom that led me to this life? to this village? was it not amanita muscaria showing me holding a tiny baby through a misty woman village in a journey? was it not my fate to bring my daughter to meet her tribe?


at i write this the moon is new in Pisces— and these memories are ready to be released like spores into the ether-

it is unknown if i’ll be at spirit weavers this summer , but i know that spirit weavers has been a jeweled path on my journey with spirit.

i have been seen and fortified and loved by soul family i could only once dream of.

the mushroom reminds us that everything is hidden in plain sight- seeing an amanita muscaria in the woods is seeing symbiosis: a conifer or oak will be nearby in relationship-

to see one indicates the existence of another- a realm of mycelium hidden from every day sight, but always there-

connecting- interwoven- alive- communicating between multitudes-

the presence of one indicating another- even if unseen, illuminating a whole global village.

spirit weavers is a realm of magic that exists if one has enough faith to enter the portal and wander into a wider dimension where healing and miracles happen on this earth.

spirit weavers is peace on earth- heaven on earth- where the new world is being built- and where people learn again what it is to be human-

medicine for a new world is the work of the mushroom- it’s visi

may you discover your family and heed your guides

and feel your soul affirmed–

with the mushrooms, ( and a little one crawling through the forest cutting her 9th and 10th teeth!)

dolly xoxo

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