the glory of the time we call “october”

glittering rains, golden leaves, and the yellow grass gives way to green,

the dryness gives way to wet decay and mycelium fruits

appear like magic.

it’s warm.

not hot.


tea and joanna newsom.

quilts. sweaters.

some days fall into place like a perfect carpet of yellow leaves,

changing everything.

the change is constant and it leaves me moody, but cozy.


it’s so very good to be alive in this time of the year, the turning.


20161012_16095020161012_163236yearly acorn gathering with the pups, my girl D, and the biggest wonderful mind-blowing oak-tree.20161013_18040720161013_17434820161013_18100820161013_17334620161013_18090720161013_18041220161013_17545420161013_17593620161013_15591120161013_17445820161014_103912

20161014_104357Imagine the kind of day where

Summer’s dryness is relieved with buckets of clean rain

you find yourself in a forest— shoes soaked pants soaked sweater soaked notebook soaked and you’re just laughing//// stuck in the mud—

you walk up a trail,

and another.

so perplexed.

glasses covered water.

a little lost— where is every one?

what was i missing?

a muddy van comes through the trees: here it is, i think.

picks me up, takes me up to a big hill… like a junkyard covered with half renovated buses/ car skeletons. the driver tell me it’s learning man.

there’s nothing up here but mud. but you find a little Dome and you walk through the rain and bend low through the flap. it’s glowing in the dome from natural light, it smells of wet wool and dirt. but you’re successful on your quest: you meet starhawk. 20161014_10461620161014_10511020161014_104522

where the eff am i?


we stand in a circle, one by one people take the center and share their name, and something they want everyone to know:


my name is starhawk and i’m worried about the election

my name is rock and i’m learning to identify as a resident of my watershed..

my name is dolly and i’m really grateful to be here…


many people speak of living in community that comes together for the earth, our beautiful garden planet—

starhawk leads us in a grounding ceremony. we breathe, rooted, as she takes us through a guided meditation, connecting with the core of the earth, with our energetic roots, and becoming a bridge to the sky–

my mind clears and i take a note to meditate more… it just feels so good.

after minutes of electric silent stillness, she asks the group to walk in a circle, past each other, noticing each other—

our meditation has opened our hearts and minds and we smile with our eyes, really acknowledging every body: we recognize kindreds.

she then leads a discussion on social power…she even has a white board and draws out a very interesting diagram about group dynamics, power, and responsibility, tying in the cardinal directions and elements.

she asks us about conflict, how sometimes it’s just an indicator that we’re learning, as we grow out of our comfort zones. “conflicts push us to the edges, to where we are vulnerable…we open and integrate—”

she talked about power over us (IRS, police, etc…) vs power from within–

“i choose to versus i have to…” and how we become powerful when we take responsibility, how we empower people when we entrust them with responsibilities.

empowerment is personal responsibility..


as water leaks on me from the dome i realize it’s hard to build outside of the system/machine: to organize, to gather—

here we are, on a hill top in a dome filled with puddles in a loosely organized grassroots event.

i love it.

people want land to farm on, to create their own villages

people still acknowledge the power of money. someone mentions it and there is a murmur of consent. they’re looking for a way out, some way out of the mainstream consumer/wage slave culture… or perhaps a way back to nature..

money seems to be part of that solution… +++++hippy conundrums..++++

indeed, starhark checks her phone and sells books.

i get a signature.

(this is not a criticism… this is an observation of how one teaching social permaculture earns their living in a capital driven world…pays their rent.)



ah, the glow from being with the pagan goddess guru

20161014_12134420161014_125048it’s good to learn from an elder of your community. we’re drenched. and alive.20161014_13153720161014_13162120161014_13164120161014_131609

a choice rainy day adventure. <3



learning and sensing that life is an undulation between pain and Ecstasy—
a range of sensations–
highs and lows, waves and stagnant seas–
phases, ebbs and flows.
on the mountain peak, whipped by winds of triumph,
seeing all below–
in a valley,
a deep underwater trench, submerged–
or lost in the woods, considering the cones and mosses—
when you live by your heart you quest.
see the mushrooms, the Jurassic fern jungles, the wild calla lilies, ponds, drum circles, rhododendrons and dahlias. give yourself hours.
teddy and i went to the cal academy of sciences: full rain forest, aquarium, and rooftop native garden. it was a marvel. <3
lots of bike rides and kisses with the professor. 🙂
gettin’ the hang of the student thing, really craving spontaneity right now==
but dweebin’ out hard over the late paleozoic, carbon sequestration, climate change…. ad infinitum.
living a dream: the quest for independence, warm and supportive love, lots of earth factoids ruminating in my mind, happy/rowdy boys.. 🙂
planting energetic seeds, not knowing what the harvest will be.
deep deep in introspection over the last two years::
this girl has come so far and there’s still so much more to explore. 🙂
polly compost

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